“It’s Now or Never”

Homily for the Fourth Sunday of Advent  22 December 2019

Trinity Episcopal Church, Topsfield, Massachusetts

The Rev’d John R. Clarke, Bridge Priest

But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night.”

No need to Google it. Everyone knows that’s St. Nick’s parting shot from “‘Twas the Night Before Christmas.”

Now, it’s not quite the “night before Christmas,” but with under three shopping days remaining, it’s now or never if we’re going to wade into this whole “Merry Christmas” vs. “Happy Holidays” mess everyone with an axe to grind has their knickers in a twist about.

So, as we lurch inexorably toward the Christmas meltdown, just how are you going to extend greetings of the season?

St. Nick’s all-points "Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night"? Slim it down and you get “Merry Christmas!”

Or do we expand our best wishes for the season to be more inclusive? Something like “Happy Holidays”?

Well, if you choose the “Merry Christmas” option, it all depends on what you mean … how you mean it … and to whom you say it.

That requires getting into motives — maybe even agendas — when we express best wishes of the season in stores, at the mall, at the post office, here in the parish, among friends, among strangers ... total strangers.

Read: How likely are you to be the perpetrator in an incident like the one outside a Phoenix, Arizona Walmart a few seasons back?

Salvation Army volunteer Kristina Vindiola was doing what the Salvation Army folks do this time of year. She was ringing a bell and had a red kettle prepped to receive donations to fund the Salvation Army’s charitable work: feeding the poor … caring for the lonely … clothing people down on their luck. In other words, helping our neighbors who have fallen into the cracks.

Truth-in-advertising: This isn’t a plug for the Salvation Army. I’m not at all keen on their anti-LGBTQ stances. No, not at all. Your mileage may vary.

Nevertheless, clanging her bell and staffing her kettle, Kristina Vindiola wished a passerby “Happy Holidays!” The woman reeled around and snarled, “You’re supposed to say, ‘Merry Christmas!’” And no-sooner-than-you-can-say, “Blessed are the peacemakers,” she hauls off and slugs Vindiola, knocking her to the ground.

Triggering the question: On a scale of 1 to 10, how likely are you to be charged with assault-and-battery if someone wishes you “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas”?

Because this incident has me just gobsmacked. I’m wondering why “Merry Christmas” is such a sacred cow — you might even say, idol — to some people.

So, I’ve done a quick survey of news stories, blogs, and what passes for critical thinking by the pundits on Fox yelling the loudest this season of peace, love, and joy.

And my admittedly unscientific survey suggests three possible meanings behind the greeting “Merry Christmas”: political … commercial … and Christ-centered.

First, “Merry Christmas” as politics.

What does that sound like? It begins with the president boasting, “Thanks to me, you can now say ‘Merry Christmas’ again.” I can’t tell you what that even means, but I do know it plays funny with the Constitution.

Reality: This is nothing less than a skirmish in the so-called “War on Christmas” or, “War on Christianity.” It’s an utter fabrication. It has absolutely nothing at all to do with religion. And everything to do with politics and ginning up the base.

Proof? No one — least of all the government — has parked a tank on the parish lawn. Trust me. It’s the sort of thing you notice.

And those stories you hear about Nativity crèches being banned from public buildings? For the life of me, I can’t think what they’re doing there in the first place.

Do we erect crucifixes on Statehouse property on Good Friday? Statues of Buddha on Buddha’s birthday? Or Krishna’s. Or the Mormons’ Joseph Smith?

More to the point: Would you want your heard-earned tax dollars used to clutter up public property with symbols of sects you don’t believe in … or religions you consider downright heretical, even satanic?

Meaning: What’s under attack isn’t Christianity. What’s under attack is privilege — privilege bestowed by the accidents of history.

That’s because some of these folks who’ve had it pretty good since 1776 are feeling a loss of privilege: the perceived right of some to clobber all with their brand of Christianity.

It seems, however, Jesus has a few things to say about privilege, like, “The last shall be first, and the first shall be last.”

And what Jesus has to say on this score has everything to do with how we say “Merry Christmas” and to whom.

For example, to those who communicate an in-your-face “Merry Christmas” — bullying total strangers, I ask, “Where ― in that ― is Jesus … Jesus, who suffered and died at the hands of bullies?”

What, then, about the commercial meaning of “Merry Christmas”?

Factoid: Except for the crèche ― courtesy of mild-mannered St. Francis of Assisi ― and St. Nicholas ― now a bleached bloviation of the olive-complected fourth-century Bishop of Myra (in present-day Turkey) … and except for a smattering of carols and chorales, just about all the trappings we have of Christmas today are the products of 19^th and 20^th century merchandising.

In other words, “Merry Christmas” means good business.

So, I have a problem when sales personnel are ordered to wish customers, “Merry Christmas.” Because all I’m hearing is “Fa-la-la-la-la! Ka-ching, ka-ching!”

But all is not lost. Plotting a course through the minefield of “Merry-Christmas” as bad politics and good business, a lot of people — and I mean a lot — have been circulating on social media the “Happy Holidays Meme.” It’s gone viral because the optics are good and the sentiment appears to make so much sense.

The optics: It’s a JPEG of a sheet of paper torn from a legal pad. The text is handwritten in block letters, a different rainbow color for each statement:

I don’t understand what the big deal is.

If you’re Jewish, wish me “Happy Hanukkah.”

If you’re Christian, wish me “Merry Christmas.”

If you’re African-American, wish me “Joyous Kwanzaa.”

If you don’t prefer those, wish me “Happy Holidays.” I will not be offended. I will be thankful you took the time to say something nice to me.

Look, great sentiments. But there’s a problem: They don’t reflect Jesus’ idea of hospitality to strangers. And Jesus is where we’re coming from, at least.

That is, the meme puts the focus on the disposition of the greeter (let’s say, a salesperson). “If you, salesperson, are Jewish … if you are Christian … if you are African-American and so on … wish me, the customer ….”

So, I’d like to flip it to shift the focus from the greeter to the person being greeted. That is, from the customer's point of view:

If you can tell I’m an observant Jew, wish me “Happy Hanukkah.”

If you can tell I’m a follower of Jesus, wish me “Merry Christmas.”

If you know I celebrate Kwanzaa, wish me “Joyous Kwanzaa.”

In the absence of any other data? Wish me “Happy Holidays.”

And if you don’t wish me anything … who … cares?!! Life is too short to shorten it further by carrying around a chip on your shoulder!

Because the point isn’t politics. It isn’t sales revenues. For us — as followers of Jesus — it’s funneling all our energy into Jesus’ take on Christmas … Jesus’ take on any holiday, any day:

If you can tell I’m hungry, give me food.
If you can tell I’m thirsty, give me something to drink.
If you can tell I’m a stranger, welcome me.
If you can tell I’m shy a warm coat in the shivering cold, give me clothing.
If you can tell I’m sick, help me get well.
If I’m in prison, visit me.

Bottom line: Nothing. Else. Matters … when we mean what we believe: “God bless us … everyone!”

Amen.