"Seasonal Slugfest"

Homily for the Fourth Sunday of Advent  18 December 2016
The Rev’d John R. Clarke, Rector

But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight, "Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night."

St. Nick’s parting shot from ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas.

And you might be wondering ― with Advent still in full swing ─ why jump the gun on Christmas?

Well, with roughly six shopping days left, it’s “now or never” if we’re going to wade into this whole “Merry Christmas” / “Happy Holidays” mess everyone with an axe to grind has their knickers in a twist about. (I know, mixed metaphors. Deal.)

That is, in a country that respects ― according to the spirit and the intent of the Constitution ― separation of Church and State … in a society that benefits from an increasingly diverse, pluralistic population ... just what are you going to wish people as we slouch inexorably toward the Christmas meltdown?

St. Nick’s all-points "Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night"? Slim it down and you get “Merry Christmas!”

Or should we edit our best wishes for the season? Expand them to be more inclusive of all our neighbors?

If you choose the “Merry Christmas” option, it all depends on what you mean by “Merry Christmas.” Or, how you mean it.

And that requires getting into motives ─ maybe even agendas ─ when we express greetings of the season in stores, at the mall, at the post office … here in the parish … among friends … among strangers, total strangers.

Read: How likely are you to be the perpetrator in an incident like the one outside a Phoenix, Arizona Walmart a few seasons back?

Picture this: Salvation Army volunteer Kristina Vindiola was doing what the Salvation Army does this time of year: She was ringing a bell and had the kettle prepped to receive donations to fund the Salvation Army’s charitable work. You know, the work Jesus did in-season, out-of-season: feeding the poor … caring for the lonely … clothing people down on their luck … helping neighbors who have fallen into the cracks.

Disclaimer: This isn’t a plug for the Salvation Army. I’m not at all keen on their anti-LGBT stances. Your mileage may vary.

Nevertheless, ringing her bell and staffing her kettle, Kristina Vindiola wished a passerby “Happy Holidays.” The woman reeled around and snarled, “You’re supposed to say, ‘Merry Christmas!’”

And no-sooner-than-you-could-say “blessed are the peacemakers,” she hauls off and slugs the volunteer, knocking her to the ground.

Triggering the question: On a scale of 1 to 10, how likely are you to be charged with assault-and-battery in the next six days if someone wishes you “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas”?

Because this incident has me just gobsmacked. I’m wondering why “Merry Christmas” is such a sacred cow ─ you might even say, idol ─ to some people?

So, I’ve done a quick survey of news stories, blogs, and what passes for critical thinking among the pundits on Fox yelling the loudest in this season of peace, love, and joy.

And my admittedly unscientific survey suggests three possible meanings behind the greeting “Merry Christmas”: political … commercial … and Christ-centered.

First, “Merry Christmas” as politics.

What does that sound like? It begins with the president-elect pledging, “We’re going to start saying ‘Merry Christmas’ again.” I can’t tell you what that even means, but I do know it’s blatantly unconstitutional. And yet, it resonates with the sort who spit out “Merry Christmas” through clenched teeth.

Look. This is nothing less than a skirmish in the so-called “War on Christmas” or, “War on Christianity.” It’s a fabrication. It has absolutely nothing at all to do with religion. And everything to do with politics and pumping up the foaming-at-the-mouth base.

Because Christianity in this country is not under attack. Yes, it has diminished ─ and rightly so ─ under Constitutional review. But no one ─ least of all the government ─ has parked a tank on our lawn.

And those stories you hear about Nativity crèches being banned from public buildings and grounds? For the life of me, I can’t figure what they’re doing there in the first place.

Because, do we erect crucifixes on statehouse property on Good Friday? Replicas of the Empty Tomb on Easter (Easter, of course, easily besting Christmas in the annual liturgical year competition)? Do we erect on commons all around the country statues of Buddha on Buddha’s birthday? Or Krishna’s? Or the Mormons’ Joseph Smith? Well, maybe in Utah.

More to the point: Would you want your tax dollars used to clutter up public property with symbols of sects you don’t believe in or religions you consider downright heretical, even satanic?

Meaning: What’s under attack isn’t Christianity. What’s under attack is privilege bestowed by the accidents of history.

That’s because some of these folks who’ve had it pretty good since 1776 are feeling a loss of privilege: the perceived right of some to clobber all with their brand of road-rage Christianity.

It seems, however, Jesus ─ arguably, the only person with standing in this trumped-up brouhaha ─ has a few things to say about privilege. Like, “The first shall be last, and the last shall be first.”

And what Jesus has to say on this score has everything to do with how we look at saying “Merry Christmas” … and to whom.

For example, to those who lob an in-your-face “Merry Christmas” ― bullying complete strangers ― I ask, “Where in that is Jesus … Jesus, who suffered and died at the hands of bullies?”

So, that’s my gloss on the menace of “Merry Christmas” as politics. What about its commercial dimensions?

Factoid: Except for the crèche ― courtesy of mild-mannered St. Francis of Assisi ― and St. Nicholas ― now a bleached bloviation of the olive-complected fourth-century Bishop of Myra ― and except for a smattering of carols and chorales ─ just about all the trappings we have of Christmas today are the product of 19^th and 20^th century merchandising.

In other words, “Merry Christmas” means good business.

So, I have a problem when sales personnel are required to wish customers, “Merry Christmas.” Because all I’m hearing is “Fa-la-la-la-la! Ka-ching, ka-ching.”

But all is not lost. Plotting a course through the landmines of “Merry-Christmas” as bad politics and good business, a lot of people ─ and I mean a lot ─ have been circulating on Facebook what Google indexes under the “Happy Holidays Meme.” It’s gone viral because the optics are good and the sentiment makes so much sense.

The optics: It’s a JPEG of a sheet of paper torn from what looks like a legal pad. The writing is handwritten in block letters, a different rainbow color for each statement:

I don’t understand what the big deal is.

If you’re Jewish, tell me “Happy Hanukkah.”

If you’re Christian, tell me, “Merry Christmas.”

If you’re African-American, tell me “Joyous Kwanzaa.”

If you don’t prefer those, tell me, “Happy Holidays.” I will not be offended. I will be thankful you took the time to say something nice to me.

Great sentiments. I could quibble that there are African-Americans who don’t observe Kwanzaa. And the Seinfeld fans. What about Festivus?!

But the Happy Holidays meme? A heart-warming ─ if a bit treacly ─ “We come in peace” sentiment. Effective … to a point.

… because there’s a problem. It doesn’t reflect fully Jesus’ idea of hospitality to strangers. And Jesus is where we’re coming from, at least.

That is, the meme puts the burden on the greeter (let’s say, a hapless salesperson). “If you are Jewish … if you are Christian … if you are African-American, and so on … tell me …”

So, I’d like to flip it. I’d like to shift the burden to the person being greeted:

If you can tell I’m an observant Jew, wish me “Happy Hanukkah.”

If you can tell I’m a follower of Jesus ─ that I go to church most Sundays, support my parish, live the Good News ─ wish me “Merry Christmas.”

If you know I celebrate Kwanzaa, wish me “Joyous Kwanzaa.”

In the absence of any other data ─ stranger-to-stranger? Wish me “Happy Holidays.”

And if you don’t wish me anything … who … cares?!! Life is too short to shorten it further by carrying around a chip on your shoulder and calling it religion.

… because the point isn’t politics. It isn’t sales revenues. For us, it’s funneling every ounce of our energy into Jesus’ take on Christmas. Jesus’ take on any holiday, any day:

I was hungry … and you gave me food.
I was thirsty … and you gave me something to drink.
I was a stranger … and you welcomed me.
I was naked … and you gave me clothing.
I was sick … and you took care of me.
I was in prison … and you visited me.

Bottom line: Nothing else matters when we mean what we say by doing what we profess: “God bless us … everyone!”

Amen.